Thunder
by Sinabelle
Summary: AkuRoku. AU. Songfic. "It started in the summer. We were at Roxas' house..." Listen to the thunder.
1. Part 1 Roxas

**I do not own KH or the song Thunder, nor am I associated with those who do. This disclaimer applies to the whole story.**

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_Roxas_

"Today is a winding road

That's taking me to places

That I didn't want to go.

Whoa."

He was always Axel. He was your best friend. The guy you skateboarded with after school and hung out with between classes.

Then, one day, you looked at him, and he was Axel. The guy you trusted more than anyone, who knew you better than you knew you. Who you slept in the same bed with when you stayed over at his house.

Axel, who you liked.

And who you couldn't tell that to.

He's here tonight.

You spend nearly all your time together in the summer. You take the same classes and camps, and you stay at each other's houses almost every night. People say you two are attached at the hip.

But that's only because you can't let him go. You need him in your life, even if he can't be in your life the way you want him to be.

"What's wrong?" Axel asks.

You realize that you spaced out. "Nothing," you reply.

"No, really," Axel persists.

You grab a notebook off your desk. You can't say this out loud. You shouldn't even be saying it at all.

_I like you,_ you write. _I like you, not just like friends._

You hand him the notebook. He reads, nods, and writes back.

You're scared to read it. You're scared that he said that he hates you, that he never wants to see you again. You're scared.

You finally read.

_I can't like you that way. But that doesn't change anything. You're still my best friend. _The last two sentences were meant to be reassuring. Axel anticipated your fears.

But you can't help but be a little disappointed.

"Today in the blink of an eye

I'm holding on to something

And I do not know why

I tried."

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**Reviews are love. Constructive criticism is appreciated. Non-constructive criticism and flames will be ignored.**

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	2. Part 2 Axel

**Still not mine.**

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_Axel_

"I tried to read between the lines,

I tried to look in your eyes.

I want a simple explanation

For what I'm feeling inside."

You thank gods it's summer.

You hate school and homework and your parents and your house. You need to get out of there sometimes.

That's what you do with Roxas.

He likes you. He likes you. He told you that. This is every hope and dream and crazy fantasy you've ever had. Roxas wants you.

But you can't.

He's here with you.

You've just gotten out of the summer art class you take together. You're eating lunch at the local pizza place, sitting across from each other at a booth. You have a tendency to not like to eat in front of people, but Roxas isn't just people. He's your best friend.

So you can't.

You feel like you've been put into a little box. The box of the perfect student by your teachers, the box of the good child by your parents, the box of normal by society.

You hate your damn little boxes. You need to get out of there sometimes.

You can't, but you will.

You reach across the table and grab his hand, praying his reaction will be a good one.

"I gotta find a way out.

Maybe there's a way out."

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**As always, reviews are love.**


	3. Part 3 Roxas

**You all get the point with the disclaimer by now, right?**

_Roxas_

"Your voice

Was the soundtrack of my summer.

Do you know you're unlike any other?

You'll always be my thunder."

You and Axel hold hands under the table in art class. You're right handed and he's left handed, so it works.

You love to think about the first time he held your hand, a few days ago. It was magic.

He lets go of your hand as the teacher approaches.  
"Very nice, Axel," she says.

She looks at your piece and says nothing.

Axel takes your hand again. "I think your painting is great," he says softly, reassuringly.

You and Axel can't hold hands when he thinks other people are watching; it makes him nervous. Telling people scares him, and you guess it scares you too a little, but you can't show it. He was a little reluctant to go out with you in the first place; you can't lose him with your insecurities.

You can't lose him.

"And I said

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors.

I don't wanna ever love another.

You'll always be my thunder.

So bring on the rain

And listen to the thunder."

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**Reviews = love. **


	4. Part 4 Axel

_Axel_

"Today is a winding road,

Tell me where to start

And tell me something I don't know.

Woah."

Roxas wants to tell your friends.

Just your friends, he pushes. Not parents. Not teachers. Not classmates. Just friends.

You think it will get out if you tell anyone, and you don't want this out there. You're not ready to come out. You realize for the first time that that's what you would be doing – coming out. Because you're gay. You've never really thought of yourself as being gay; you've never really thought of yourself as being anything. All you're sure of is that you like Roxas. That can't be wrong.

You finally give in, and you and Roxas tell your mutual best friend Demyx first.

"That's great!" Demyx says. "You'll be soo cute together."

You think maybe this won't be so bad. So you and Roxas tell your other friends. Pence, Olette, Hayner, Marluxia – They're all ok with it.

You think maybe this won't be bad at all.

Until Roxas has to tell her.

"Today, I'm on my own,

I can't move a muscle

And I can't pick up the phone.

I don't know."

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Review. Please. ...You get cookies! And I bet that there isn't anyone out there reading this who doesn't like cookies.


	5. Part 5 Roxas

_Roxas_

"Now I'm itching for the tall grass

And longing for the breeze.

I need to step outside

Just to see if I can breathe."

She's crying.

You needed to tell her. You knew she wouldn't like it, but you had to. You'd kinda almost had a thing with her. Before this. Before you realized you didn't like girls. Before Axel.

Before.

She really liked you. She flirted with you constantly and tried to always be near you. And, yeah, you flirted back. But you didn't mean anything by it.

You didn't like her. Not the way you like him.

"Why?" She wails. "Why do you," she pauses, sniffs, "hate me?"

"It's not that," you try to comfort her. "Naminé, it's not that at all."

She doesn't believe you.

"I've gotta find a way out.

Maybe there's a way out."

**Short chapter, but yay, an update!**


	6. Part 6 Axel

_Axel_

"Your voice

Was the soundtrack of my summer.

Do you know you're unlike any other?

You'll always be my thunder."

It's the hottest day of the entire summer, and the air conditioner is broken.

The basement is the coolest room in Roxas' house. That's where you are now. You're holding him, and it feels so good.

He pulls away from you. "God, it's so hot out," he says. He takes off his shirt, and then leans back against you. "That's better," he says.

Your hands are touching his bare skin.

You're sure you've seen him without a shirt before – in locker rooms, playing basketball – but never with the intention of looking at him.

He's beautiful.

And he's looking at you.

"Axel…" he says. "I want…"

You know what he wants.

You kiss him. It's hesitant, at first. He doesn't know what he's doing. But you do. You add a gentle force to the kiss, and it gradually grows in intensity until it feels like wildfire.

You finally pull away to breathe.

"I love you," he says.

"I love you too," you say back, and it isn't until you've said it that you realize it's true.

His gorgeous blue eyes look up at you.

"And I said

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors.

I don't wanna ever love another.

You'll always be my thunder.

So bring on the rain

And listen to the thunder."


	7. Part 7 Roxas

_Roxas_

"Yeah, I'm walking on a tightrope;

I'm wrapped up in vines.

I think I'll make it out;

You've just gotta give me time."

You're looking up into his emerald eyes.

He's been so perfect and so good to you and so good for you.

You're staying at his house tonight. You and Axel still have sleepovers, just like you did when you were just friends. You sleep in the same bed, because it doesn't feel weird or awkward. Axel always wraps his arms around you until you both fall asleep.

Tonight's going to be different.

You're in bed, but instead of letting him hold you, you kiss him.

He's surprised, but he kisses back. Your kiss becomes more and more heated and intense.

You pull away. He continues, kissing your neck, your chest. "Axel…" you say, "I want…"

He stops. "You… Are you sure?"

Sex isn't a topic that the two of you have ever discussed, but you know he wants it – needs it – as much as you do, if not more.

"Yes," you say. He doesn't look like he believes you. "Axel, I'm sure. I want this."

And he's so perfect and so good to you.

"Strike me down with lightening;

Let me feel you in my veins.

I wanna let you know

How much I feel your pain."


	8. Part 8 Axel

_Axel_

"Today is a winding road…"

He cries on the phone, and that's how you know.

"It's better this way, Axel," he insists. "We can stay friends."

He doesn't mean it. He doesn't want to leave you. They made him. They're taking him away from you. They must be.

He couldn't want this.

You didn't want to tell people. You knew all along that something like this would happen. You knew it would end up this way. But Roxas…

He just had to screw everything up by being Roxas.

In your head, this thought process is reasonable.

You don't cry in front of him. You won't. You wait until he hangs up. Then you can't stop crying.

The cruel, cold world is taking your Roxas from you.

So you'll take yourself from this world.

(In your head, this is somehow reasonable.)

"…That's taking me to places

That I didn't want to go.

Whoa."

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**I know you all hate me now. I'm sorry! But remember, it isn't over yet.**


	9. Part 9 Roxas

_Roxas_

"Your voice

Was the soundtrack of my summer.

Do you know you're unlike any other?

You'll always be my thunder."

Axel tried to kill himself.

That's what they say, anyway. You keep telling it to yourself, but you can't believe it. You don't want to believe it.

Axel's in the hospital.

His parents say that he lost a lot of blood, but he's ok now. That it's okthathe has to live with scars on his arms, because at least it means he's living.

Axel wants you to visit him.

You're doing it, partly because you just don't say no to a guy who almost died but partly because you need to see him.

Axel doesn't look good.

He's in a hospital bed wearing one of those hospital gowns with machines, like, everywhere. You've never been in a hospital before – you've never known anyone that sick – and it's kinda freaking you out.

"You came," he says when you walk in the room. "You came for me."

Axel tried to kill himself.

And you drove him to it.

"And I said

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors.

I don't wanna ever love another.

You'll always be my thunder."

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**This is the penultimate chapter. I'll move on to new stories once chapter 10 is posted.**


	10. Part 10 Axel

_Axel_

"And I said

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer.

Do you know you're unlike any other?

You'll always be my thunder."

They make you go to therepy.

For the first five weeks, you won't talk. You were hoping that they would decide that it was a waste of their time and money. You were hoping they wouldn't make you go anymore.

But it's week six, and here you are.

Gradually, everything that happened between you and Roxas slips away. It all feels less and less real, and you're starting to wonder if you made it all up in your head.

The therapist keeps pushing you to talk. You don't want to. You want to keep every faded memory your own little secret. But you don't want them to keep fading.

"It started in the summer," you say. "We were at Roxas' house…"

"So bring on the rain.

Oh baby, bring on the pain.

And listen to the thunder."

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**Last Chapter! :( Sad. I'll start uploading other stories soon though. And, hell, who knows? A few of them might actually end more happily than this one.**


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